MySpace Fools.

You know, I think the best thing about coming to a Starbucks is just the extraneous conversations that I happen to catch. While sitting here for nearly 3 minutes, I now know about laser-hair treatment, how many cups of sugar it takes to make Michelle's special cookies (2), and what Kathy likes the most about being from Norfolk (when the leaves change). I mean, I almost feel as if my 15 years of schooling was essentially pointless. You know what I mean???

Okay, so on a completely different and unrelated topic, I feel as if a lot of people who read this blog know me in real life. BUT there are some people who just don't know me at all. SO in honor of me finding my MySpace this morning, I think it would be appropriate for me to do a MySpace "Get to know me" note. I used to always read those things, even if I didn't know the person very well. They were just so addicting. I'm a creeper...

Name: Olivia

Where were you born?: South London

Favorite Movie?: Anything with Kirsten Dunst/Natalie Portman, anything related to Harry Potter.

Favorite Color?: I like purple but I like to wear greens and blacks. So i don't really know.

Current City?: Lakewood, Colorado

Answer Yes or No
Q: Kissed someone on your friends list? Like facebook? or myspace? I mean, yeah to both I guess...?
Q: Been arrested? Nope.
Q: Do you like someone? You could say that.
Q: Held a snake? Well, yeah....
Q: Been suspended from school? In the 4th grade, I sharpened a drumstick in a pencil sharpener. 5 days
Q: Sang karaoke? Probably at some point
Q: Done something you told yourself you wouldn't do? Everyday
Q: Laughed until you started crying? Oh yeah
Q: Kissed in the rain? yeah
Q: Sang in the shower? erreday
Q: Sat on a roof top? I don't see how this is relevant
Q: Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? YES and my CELL PHONE. BY MY BEST FRIEND'S MOM.
Q: Broken a bone? yes
Q: Shaved your head? I wish
Q: Played a prank on someone? I mean, I trip people a lot. Does that count?
Q: Shot a gun? YEZ
Q: Donated Blood? yeah, it hurt.

LAST PERSON
1. You hung out with? I watched Mary (my roommate) make breakfast. Does that count?
2. You texted? Nichole
3. Last Person you were in a car with? Hmmm Mary
4. Went to the movies with? Nichole and Arielle
5. Person you went to shop with? I went and got cereal by myself this morning
6. You talked on the phone? My mom
7. Made you laugh? The Starbucks lady
8. You hugged? Arielle

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY...
1. Sun or moon? Moon..
2. Winter or Fall? Winter
3. Left or Right? Why does it matter?
4. Sunny or rainy? RAIN
5. Where do you live? you already asked me that, don't be redundant
6. Club or pub? pub
7. Are there 1 or 2 people who you can always trust and rely on? I'd like to think so... WHO'S ASKING
8. Do you want to get married? no idea
9. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? spaghetti makes you fat
10. What time is it? clocks are for the weak
11. Are you afraid of commitment? I strive for it
12. What is your greatest hope/wish? to be happy
13. Do you cook? i like to bake a lot
14. Current mood? annoyed

IN THE LAST 48 HOURS HAVE YOU...
1. Kissed someone? Nope
2. Sang? Really badly to my car stereo
3. Listened to music? NOPE
4. Danced Crazy? Probably
5. Cried? Nope
6. Liked someone you can't have? haha

25 FIRSTS .....
1.Who was your first prom date? a jew
2. Who was your first roommate? this weird girl
3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk the first time? what's alcohol?
4. What was your first job? super target
5. Who was your first date? a jew
6. When did you go to your first funeral and viewing? when I was five I think
7. Who was your first grade teacher? gahh Mrs. Campbell
8. Who was your first crush this year? like I'm really going to tell you that GOOD ONE
9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? United States
10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time? I mean, I lived on the second floor. so never
11. Who was your first best friend? Amanda Murphy
12. Who is/was your first Best Friend in high school? Vivian Warren
13. Where was your first sleepover? My friend Destiny's house. We watched The Ring and I got nightmares.
14. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? My mom or Mary
15. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a Bridesmaid/ groomsman? My aunt's
16. What's the first thing you did when you got up this morning? Looked at my clock (which is broken)
17. What was the first concert you went to? 3 dog night in New York
18. What was the last concert you went to? hmmm do band concerts count? my own
19. First tattoo or piercing? ears pierced
20. First celebrity crush? Aaron Carter
21. Current celebrity crush? NATALIE PORTMAN
22. First crush? probably like a 3rd grader
23. Current crush? none yo buz
24. First date? REDUNDANCY IS A SIN
25. First time you tied your shoe laces? I wear velcro

Five names you go by:
Olivia, that stupid girl, Liv, Livy, Olive

Three things you are wearing right now:
1. watch
2. blazer
3. pants

Three things you want very badly X5 at the moment:
1. a person
2. a refill on my coffee
3. a day off

Two things you did last night:
1. played apples to apples with arielle, mary, nichole, and krista
2. brushed my teeth

Two things you ate today:
1. coffee
2. nothing yet

Two people you last talked to on the phone:
1. Mary
2. My mom

Three things you are going to do tomorrow:
1. work
2. homework
3. I don't have an itinerary or anything so I don't know

Two longest car rides:
1. Denver to Cali
2. New York to Texas

Three Favorite beverages:
1. Anything with Soy
2. Juice boxes are pretty cool I guess
3. Venti Quad Shot Vanilla Latte

There you go, that's all you get. Happy MySpace day! Everyone go look at their MySpaces and laugh at how embarrassing they are. OKAY BYE.

StarBUckZ RanTz

Today is one of those rainy/depressing days where you go to a Starbucks by a lake a sip and latte and sit in one of those huge awkward couch chairs in which you are too short to put your feet on the floor so they just dangle there like you're twelve. I'm also wearing a corduroy blazer which means that I'm forced to talk about intelligent things today. Buckle your seatbelt, dear readers.

Lately I've noticed one thing about our world in which we inhabit: we are all giant shit heads. I guess I lied when I said lately because it has been completely noticeable since the day that a prick 5-year-old stole my eraser in preschool and my teacher made me "share." In fact, based on scrutiny with 20 years of experience, I've found out that our whole world is filled with utter pricky-ness. Let me give you an example.

One of my favorite people in history (and of all time, really) is Lady Diana Spencer. She was beautiful, she was smart, she had grace, and she sincerely cared about everyone. Plus, she was in line to be the freaking QUEEN OF ENGLAND. What's not to love about her? That wasn't the reason why I loved her the most though. Just like everyone else in this stupid, God-forsaken planet, she was human. I've read a ton of books and biographies on her, mostly because I find her to be one of the most interesting and strong women that our world has ever known. I'm proud to be born in the same hospital room that she was born in, too. (true story, I have proof)

Besides being known as the People's Princess, she did share issues that every common woman in this world shares. She struggled with an unjust relationship, an eating disorder, addiction, and countless suicide attempts. But unlike a lot of those women, she was in the spotlight of the entire world, staring down at her whenever she made a single mistake. I can barely look my teacher in the eye after I get a failing grade on a homework assignment. The strength that she possessed was like nothing that anyone could ever imagine.

Even though she struggled with a ton of issues, the people of our world wouldn't leave her the hell alone. She was forced everyday to literally run down the streets of London, surrounded by body guards, knowing that thousands of people wanted the chance to kill her with as many bullets as they could possibly acquire in the allotted time. Luckily for those bastards, Princess Di was eventually killed in an auto crash while trying to get away from the paparazzi chasing her with cameras.

I was 7 when the car crashed and I remember being so very devastated. Being a British gal with a Brit father, I grew up with strong admiration for her. However, I do understand that this was investigated and eventually became known as an accident. There are thousands of speculations claiming that the driver was drunk, it was murder, it was an unknown controversy, whatever, whatever, blah blah blah. The point is, Princess Diana died an awful, hideous, death. One that came as a shock of all of England.

Now, this situation is upsetting. It get's me furious, trust me. But it's not what gets me the most upset. What gets me so furious is how the world reacted to it. When I searched google for "Diana Pictures," the first thing that came up was, "Princess Diana Death Pictures." This just..... kills me. Utterly kills me. This strong woman being murdered by paparazzi, and then broadcasted by those heartless wankers that only seek money and fame, who don't even care that they just destroyed the life of one of the most amazing women our world, our planet, our freaking universe has ever known. HOW DARE YOU PEOPLE. I am so disgusted and hurt and it's something that I can't think about for too long before I feel like puking and shooting everyone in this Starbucks. I won't, but I just feel like it.

Another situation that bothers me was the shooting of Teddy Roosevelt. John Shrank shot him right through the flesh of Roosevelt's heart over a POLITICAL INDIFFERENCE. Roosevelt still gave a speech with a bullet lodged into his body. Regretfully for Shrank, "it takes more than one bullet to kill a bull mouse."

There have been countless other murders, shootings, and injured leaders, all because of our stupid and hideous nation. Don't get me started on Grace Kelly. Right now, all I want to do is hug Princess Diana and tell her that I am so sorry for being associated with the human race. That's all. I'm going to go back to drinking my coffee and snapping my fingers to the improvisational jazz that Starbucks is playing a little too loud over their treble-induced speakers. Be glad I'm not a history major, folks. I would probably turn into a feminist or a civil rights activist. Arrivaderchi.

When microwaves attack...

Okay so. Last week I started a blog by saying that nothing of consequence has happened to me, and therefore I have nothing to write about. Well now it's kind of the opposite, considering the fact that I have tons to write about but no time to actually do the physical sit down and write about it part. SO with that being said, you should not blame me for not being able to write. Not that you would anyway.

SO WHERE TO START. I moved into my new place? It's very stressful to think about. Now I have to pay rent and utilities and buy toilet paper and trash bags and lysol wipes and light bulbs and it's all so frightening. Folks, don't get me wrong though, I love being out on my own. I CAN EVEN GET MY OWN PET it's awesome. It's just a little bit stressful, ya know? I think I would feel more at home if we actually had WiFi but the stupid lady at the leasing office refuses to validate our password, no matter how many times I stop in and remind her because she's too lazy. SO now I'm sitting in my school's union in order to just have a little bit of computer time, regardless of the fact that school ended on Thursday. No one has ever been so dedicated but me.

Oh yeah, I could tell you this really weird/kind of (a lot) frightening story that happened to me yesterday. QUEEZY READERS PLEASE STOP READING NOW. INSTEAD WATCH THIS VIDEO OF A CUTE KITTEN IN A BOX. If you're still reading.... hi. Okay, moving on. Yesterday Mary and I were down in Highlands Ranch (my hometown) picking up a couch for the living room and a couple other things. WELL, I was looking in the basement for other things that I might need, and my eyes came across this microwave. I realized that we didn't have one at the apartment so I unplugged it (YES, THE DAMNED THING WAS PLUGGED IN FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG, DOWN IN A HUMID BASEMENT) and grabbed it to carry up to the trunk. Well, I grabbed it to where the door was facing down and the bottom of the microwave was resting on my stomach. I made it all the way upstairs and out to the trunk and then all of the sudden I started to feel something really weird in my body/stomach region, something I've never felt before... it was freaking me out so I set the microwave on the ground. I got this overwhelming light-headed feeling, and then I just started puking everywhere all over my driveway (I told you, queezy readers). It was so weird and scary. My neighbor was outside gardening and he freaked out but I told him I was fine and just hosed our driveway down. Now the skin on my stomach is kind of yellow-ish and weird feeling. I'm not really sure if I should see a doctor or not. SO YOU GUYS. Never touch a microwave on the bottom when it has been plugged in. I looked stuff up online and found a couple of sites that just explain the exact same thing that happened to me. I now have a phobia of microwaves.

ALRIGHT so the moral of this blog was... I don't really know. Life is good, bye.